Why do we have Funerals?
It is part of human psychology to create rituals and ceremonies around significant life events. Think how much planning goes into the average funeral and what it costs. Compare that to the elaborate lengths people will go to, to celebrate a wedding or mark a coming of age. Think of the other major events that are marked during the course of a person‘s life. How much effort, time and expense go into these ceremonies and rituals in comparison to the time taken to arrange the average funeral.
Below are some of the major reasons we have funerals:
- To dispose of the physical remains of the deceased in a way that respects social, legal and religious standards of the community. Note that these standards will vary according to different cultures, locations and times.
- It is a last act of caring and can be viewed as a final gift - a farewell present or “send off” for the deceased. It provides the chance to express what somebody has meant to us and how we felt about them.
- Following a loss by death many people enter into a state of shock and numbness. This condition can actually be quite useful. It allows the bereaved to complete arrangements such as organising funerals and sorting out legal matters. The funeral for most people will allow the opportunity to make the painful realisation that death has actually occurred. This opportunity whilst difficult is very helpful in the process of grief.
- For people who are left behind the funeral marks the transition from someone being a physical presence in your life to someone who now exists only in memory and emotion.
- The funeral marks a transition ceremony for the bereaved. For instance you may enter the church as a son but leave as head of the family; or enter as a wife and leave as a widow. This is both a change of mind for the individual concerned and a change of attitude by other members of the community.
- As a public event, which marks the final life event of an individual, funerals offer the opportunity for the community, work colleagues and friends to pay respect, offer support, comfort and condolences to the family.
- Linked to the above point the funeral provides an opportunity for the bereaved to ask for and to acknowledge the support given by those who attend. Many people who have opted for private funeral ceremonies have commented on the lack of support they have perceived after the funeral service. It must be asked whether this is linked to the fact that people felt they were not welcome to offer that support at the most crucial time.
- As a major life event the funeral ceremony marks the opportunity for a statement of religious beliefs and value systems. As well as stating these beliefs to the community it offers a time to share these beliefs and systems with like-minded people.
- Inevitably when we are involved with the funeral of another person it makes us question in a very fundamental way our own inescapable death.
|
|
|
